Artifacts of Collapse: Touring the Crazy Town Museum

In this episode we travel in time to the year 2125, to visit the Crazy Town museum, which showcases today’s world of wanton consumption and profligate waste. How will humans in 2125 – if there are any of us left – judge the things everyone sees as normal today? Jason, Rob, and Asher take turns serving as expert curators of this future museum, nominating items that best encapsulate how foolish and environmentally ruinous our priorities are. At the end we call on you, dear listener, to share what you would include in the museum.

Originally recorded on 7/11/25. Visit Crazy Town on the web.

(Spoiler Alert) View Artifacts in the Museum:

• Sportscar hopping from skyscraper to skyscraper (from the movie Furious 7)
• "Ronnie Fieg Has Mastered The Art Of Collecting" in Haute Magazine
• Echo PB-9010T backpack leaf blower
• SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles, California
• Ronald Reagan’s 1985 inaugural address
• Barbie Pool Party Playset
• The world's biggest landfill in Las Vegas, Nevada
• The world's largest cruise ship, Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas
• Jimmy Dean blueberry pancakes and sausage on a stick

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Episode Explanation
• 0:42 Introducing the Crazy Town Museum
• 4:12 Jason's First Artifact (scenes from an over-revved movie franchise)
• 9:33 Rob's First Artifact (journeying into bizarre journalistic territory)
• 13:28 Asher's First Artifact (the one thing you should always carry on your back)
• 17:57 Fake Sponsor
• 19:10 Jason's Second Artifact (how did we get here from just wanting to play games?)
• 24:58 Rob's Second Artifact (auditory tour-de-force fantasy)
• 28:22 Asher's Second Artifact (the stuff of dreams, in pink and turquoise)
• 32:42 Listener Spotlight - Inspiring Mail Art
• 35:40 Jason's Third Artifact (an unheralded attraction in Los Vegas))
• 44:10 Rob's Third Artifact (an icon among icons - toot toot)
• 50:11 Asher's Third Artifact (truly delicious and beyond convenient)
• 57:26 Honorable Mentions
• 1:01:28 What's Your Suggestion for the Museum?

Transcript

Asher Miller  00:01
I'm Asher Miller. 

Rob Dietz  00:02
I'm Rob Dietz. 

Jason Bradford  00:03
And I'm Jason Bradford. Welcome to Crazy Town, where today's height of luxury is tomorrow's what the fuck were they thinking.

Asher Miller  00:10
In this episode, we travel in time to the year 2125 to visit the Crazy Town Museum, which showcases today's world of want and consumption and profligate waste. How will humans in 2121, if there are any of us left, judge the things everyone sees as normal today? We take turns serving as expert curators of this future museum, nominating items that best encapsulate how fakakta our priorities are. At the end, we call on listeners to share what you would like to include in the museum. Rob, Jason, lovely to be with you today.

Jason Bradford  00:45
I'm so excited. 

Asher Miller  00:48
Calm down. 

Jason Bradford  00:48
Okay. 

Asher Miller  00:49
The listeners don't know what we're about to do here. 

Jason Bradford  00:51
This is gonna be the best show ever. 

Asher Miller  00:53
So I called us together with a suggestion, an idea. We have to fundraise for this. It's gonna take, you know, it's gonna take some real effort. 

Jason Bradford  01:02
Yes. 

Asher Miller  01:02
We have to buy land. We have to build a large building. We have to get a bunch of items. 

Jason Bradford  01:08
No, just put 10 bucks into bitcoin right now and then we'll be set.

Asher Miller  01:11
Okay. 

Rob Dietz  01:11
Yeah, I'm just gonna turn over my NVIDIA stock.

Asher Miller  01:14
Yeah, it's too bad I didn't buy into NVIDIA before. But ,in any case, so I was walking the other day, as I do, walking my dog in the neighborhood. 

Jason Bradford  01:21
Willow's so cute. 

Asher Miller  01:22
Yeah. And, you know, I'm getting into sort of old man yelling at the clouds kind of territory, shaking my fist at things. Because I, and I'm not gonna tell you what it was that set me off, but something set me off, okay? And this certain something sets me off quite a bit. It's becoming more and more frequent the setting off thing, to the point where my dog is kind of giving me the side eye, you know?

Rob Dietz  01:44
Last time I came over to your house, before I could get to the door, you were yelling out the window, "Get off of my lawn!"

Asher Miller  01:50
Well, yeah. I think it's pretty understandable if people met you. Anyways, so you know, I had this idea. This thing that I was experiencing was such a great affront to me. And I was thinking about, like, what would it be like for people who either came from the past or actually maybe people from the future -- After we go through this great bottleneck we're going to go through and, you know, the great simplification, or the great unraveling. Whatever the fuck you want to call what we're going to go through, which is probably the end on some level of the modern world that we inhabit. 

Jason Bradford  02:29
Right.

Asher Miller  02:30
So imagine what people in the future would think of the choices that our society  -- Here I am in suburban America. 

Jason Bradford  02:39
You see why this is going to be such a great show, people?

Asher Miller  02:41
So I wanted to propose that we think about, what would we put in like a museum that people 100 years from now? 

Jason Bradford  02:48
Yeah, 2125. 

Asher Miller  02:49
After we got through all this shit, would come and visit and look at with befuddlement, with amazement, with, I don't know. Would they have jealousy? Would they have horror? Like God knows what the mix of emotions would be. 

Jason Bradford  02:54
Oh yeah, awe. 

Asher Miller  02:54
So here's what I'm going to propose. I'm gonna propose that we're gonna do kind of our round robin. Alright, we each get to pick three items to go into this museum. Okay? By the way, listeners, if you're sitting on the edge of your seat, just wait. But if we miss something, you can suggest to us after what we're missing. Yu each get up to three items as well if we can cover it.

Jason Bradford  03:23
We can franchise these museums all over the world.

Asher Miller  03:26
This is part of the problem, Jason. No.

Rob Dietz  03:29
It'll be like the Ripley's Believe It or Not. 

Jason Bradford  03:31
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rob Dietz  03:31
It actually will be like Believe It or Not.

Jason Bradford  03:33
Yeah, wax museum.

Asher Miller  03:34
Crazy Town Believe It or Not. In any case. So we're all gonna get to pick three items. We're gonna go around. Okay? Take turns. So I'm not gonna start it. I want to you guys to start. So I'm gonna suggest to you guys, Rochambeau for this and see which of you or is gonna go first. 

Rob Dietz  03:50
I crush at Rock Paper Scissors. Dammit. See how I crush?

Asher Miller  03:58
Not so much. Yeah, you crush. Okay, so Jason, for those who have no idea what just happened. 

Rob Dietz  04:02
I threw paper, Jason threw scissors. Guess my first artifact is going to be paper.

Asher Miller  04:07
So round one - There we go. Jason, the floor is yours. 

Jason Bradford  04:13
So I want you to go over to my curated museum sheet here. Everyone toggle and be at the top. Very good job. 

Asher Miller  04:22
Okay.

Jason Bradford  04:23
Alright, okay. So on YouTube, which, of course itself is a spectacle. 

Asher Miller  04:29
Yeah, it might not be around in 100 years. 

Jason Bradford  04:31
Right, but there's a movie car chase channel, and on that channel I found the scene that I want to represent sort of a lot of things, actually. This is one thing is I'm trying to find things that will represent multiple sort of issues we have. 

Asher Miller  04:49
You're a systems thinker my friend. 

Jason Bradford  04:51
Yes, yeah. So this goes deep, but what I want to do is I want to draw people in with an incredible spectacle. And in this case, it's a scene from "Fast and Furious 7"

Asher Miller  05:02
The fact that there were seven of them made. 

Jason Bradford  05:03
Well, there's like 10 now. This is back from 2015.

Rob Dietz  05:07
What a money making machine. 

Jason Bradford  05:08
Yes. There's a car that jumps between three skyscrapers in Dubai. 

Asher Miller  05:13
Oh, okay. 

Jason Bradford  05:14
Okay, so it's on like floor 100, or whatever. I don't even know. You can't really count these things.

Asher Miller  05:19
Alright so you get the car, you got the skyscraper in Dubai? 

Jason Bradford  05:22
So yeah. So you've got all these layers. You've got this incredible sports car. Scroll down a little and you'll see the picture of this thing. And this is one of the scenes. So, in the scene you got this sports car. It's called the Lycan Hyper Sport. It's from one of Abu Dubai's Etihad Towers. And I've got a couple screenshots. In this one, you've got a bad guy with a machine gun being upended by the car. It's being driven around on the marble floor, okay? And eventually, what happens is --

Asher Miller  05:49
Normal floors 100 stories high. 

Jason Bradford  05:52
Plus, probably. Who knows how high this thing is.

Rob Dietz  05:54
And you know, in the realm of who's gonna win a battle, guy with machine gun or car, you know, the car apparently is a better murder weapon.

Jason Bradford  06:02
It's pretty amazing what happens next because he upends the guy. But then the guy gets back on his feet, keeps shooting a machine gun. People are going berserko in this in this building. And you can see then the car, Vin Diesel, actor from the 21st Century, he decides he's going to drive the car out a window towards a skyscraper that is adjacent. And the idea being that, since you're so high up, as you fall, you're going to land and you're going, I don't know, 100 mph.

Asher Miller  06:33
Staircasing down, basically. Is that what you're saying. 

Jason Bradford  06:35
Yeah. 

Asher Miller  06:36
So he's not defined gravity completely. He's just - 

Jason Bradford  06:39
No. Yeah, and so you see the next scene is a car. You back up, and there's a helicopter scene, and from miles away, zoomed in, and you see the car between the towers.

Asher Miller  06:50
Flying through the air like a beautiful bird. 

Rob Dietz  06:52
The amazing thing about that movie is it's all done with practical stunts. They actually did jump a car from an --

Asher Miller  06:59
You're saying that that wasn't CGI? That was real? Okay.

Jason Bradford  07:02
And then the next thing that happens is, what's great about this is that you think they've done enough. No. They then go from that tower and they drive through and they go into another tower. So the tower on the right they actually enter. So the final screenshot I want to show you is them about to hit the tower all the way to the third tower. Okay, so I imagine that you walk into this museum and there's one of those theater rooms, right? Museums have these theater rooms. 

Rob Dietz  07:30
Yeah, you get to sit down to get your museum knees kind of taken care of for a few minutes.

Asher Miller  07:36
Can we just test some assumptions here. So you're assuming they still have theaters, the ability to have electricity and theaters. 

Jason Bradford  07:44
This is the only place on Earth. 

Rob Dietz  07:46
Yeah, we have a magic Museum, okay? Either that or a team of hamsters is running on generator wheels.

Jason Bradford  07:52
You walk into this darkened room and this  YouTube channel, it's a four and a half minute or so segment. It's just on auto play, right? So you show up and you're just gonna see this going.

Asher Miller  08:03
So much of it, like if you literally were coming into this museum 100 years from now. Let's say you're living generally an agrarian life, pretty simple life. You make a trek for five days to come to this place.

Jason Bradford  08:18
This is like the Mecca of the future. You're at a pilgrimage to it, or whatever. 

Asher Miller  08:21
How much would you even be able to comprehend from this scene, from this film?

Jason Bradford  08:26
Any of this. 

Rob Dietz  08:27
I think the towers will still be standing, and people will sort of know what a skyscraper is. There'll be vines and stuff growing up them.

Jason Bradford  08:36
No, this is in Dubai. So there'll be nothing. This will be, you know . . .

Asher Miller  08:41
No but he's saying in like, let's say this is a museum in America.

Jason Bradford  08:44
Outside of Chicago or whatever. 

Asher Miller  08:46
They'll still see them.

Jason Bradford  08:46
But just what we'll acknowledge is that this happened in an oil kingdom, in this place that's basically covered in sand near an ocean that's incredibly hot, and they had these towers of steel and, you know. 

Asher Miller  08:59
With marble floors. 

Jason Bradford  08:59
With marble floor. And there was a movie industry that spent hundreds of millions of dollars. 

Asher Miller  09:05
You can unpack a lot of things. 

Jason Bradford  09:06
Exactly. 

Rob Dietz  09:07
And you could have that all up on the wall, right? Is what this thing is. Also, what's cool is if you were able to download that whole, what was it?  Movie car chases channel. You can make it interactive where each museum visitor could say, "Oh, I want to see this one." And they click that.

Jason Bradford  09:23
I mean, I'm willing, as a curator, to work with you, as a curator, to come up with even better ways of doing this. Like choose your adventure car chase. 

Asher Miller  09:31
Okay, alright. Rob, let's go to your first one.

Rob Dietz  09:33
Okay, for my number one draft pick in the Museum of Idiocy, or the Crazy Town Museum, I'd like you guys to go over to my curation page. And I'm going with Haute - I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. Haute Living Magazine: H - A - U -T - E. 

Asher Miller  09:34
Haute living, maybe.

Rob Dietz  09:34
It might me Haute. 

Asher Miller  09:34
We're so cultured. 

Rob Dietz  09:34
Anyway, this is a magazine of the 21st Century that promotes conspicuous consumption, luxury, celebrity, and marketing without any sort of sarcasm or --

Asher Miller  09:34
So you subscribe to this magazine? 

Rob Dietz  09:36
Oh, sure. Yeah, of course. And I have this idea. I'm going to take you through one issue of it. And this one is, the cover story is "Ronnie Feig has mastered the art of collecting." 

Jason Bradford  10:32
I'm looking at this picture. I'm looking at this picture. And this is one of the most atrocious things I've ever seen in my entire life.

Asher Miller  10:40
Oh my god. 

Rob Dietz  10:40
He's got the white turtleneck, the hipster beard. 

Jason Bradford  10:45
Yes, this is awful. Who cuts his hair? That is just horrible.

Asher Miller  10:49
Wearing sunglasses inside with all his shoes behind him.

Rob Dietz  10:52
Check it out. This is what they say about him in the cover story. They say that, "The name Ronnie Feig has become synonymous with a lifestyle. It has become synonymous with Feig's, personal relationship to what luxury is and how he has allowed others to become a part of it." It's just like utterly bizarre stuff. 

Jason Bradford  11:11
Yeah, the writing is so bad. 

Rob Dietz  11:13
It's like, they talk about how he's established this brand. He's fundamentally reinterpreting luxury through the idea of rarities. 

Jason Bradford  11:21
He's got a bunch of stupid sneakers behind him. That's luxury now, is  sneakers? What are you talking about?

Rob Dietz  11:27
Any he's got his luxury sneakers. He's got his timepiece.

Asher Miller  11:32
Oh my God, you've got to scroll down, Jason. Scroll watch. 

Jason Bradford  11:34
Oh, he's staring at the watch. 

Asher Miller  11:36
Yeah, and that jacket that totally matches perfectly his beard. It's the same like texture. 

Jason Bradford  11:44
The odds are that's polyester though. 

Asher Miller  11:47
Okay, listeners, we will put photos up on the Crazy Town page for this. So go check these out for yourselves. 

Rob Dietz  11:54
And another quote in that article, it says, "Acquiring a timepiece is an art form that is just as beautiful as the watch itself." 

Jason Bradford  12:01
No, no. 

Rob Dietz  12:02
So this is what I want to do. I want to take the Ronnie Feig, you know, and also, I shared with you all a picture of a couple of the ads if you scroll to the next pages in my dossier. 

Jason Bradford  12:17
Yes. 

Rob Dietz  12:18
You'll see the glitzy Miami Condo that you can buy and live in luxury. You'll see Travel by Luxury private jet.

Asher Miller  12:28
I'm glad we're high up in Miami because it's all going to be flooded.

Jason Bradford  12:31
You're covering a lot of ground with this one. This is another one that's multifaceted.

Rob Dietz  12:35
So what I want to do is I want to take this particular episode of the magazine, this issue of the magazine, and take out all the pages and just plaster them around a Rolls Royce. 

Jason Bradford  12:47
You just screwed with one of mine. I was gonna do something on the travel industry, and I think you cover it here. This is what's upsetting about this draft thing.

Rob Dietz  12:58
Yeah, I got your draft pick. Pick another one.

Jason Bradford  13:01
Luckily, I've got a . . .

Asher Miller  13:03
It's my turn first. Okay?

Jason Bradford  13:04
I want to scroll again. Hold a second. Oh my God, the ski season thing with the Matterhorn.

Asher Miller  13:10
It's lovely. 

Rob Dietz  13:10
Yeah, I have an ad with a Euro model dressed in some kind of chic outfit that's totally inappropriate for skiing.

Asher Miller  13:18
It looks perfect for skiing, actually. That big purse that she's wearing. It looks great.

Rob Dietz  13:23
Unbelievable. 

Asher Miller  13:24
Okay, well guys, I'm gonna introduce mine, okay? 

Jason Bradford  13:27
Yes. 

Asher Miller  13:27
I didn't go as - I didn't try to cram in as much of the insanity of the world into one single item as you guys did. 

Jason Bradford  13:33
You weren't thinking very big. 

Asher Miller  13:36
I went for a simple thing - In fact, the very thing that - 

Jason Bradford  13:39
That was bothering you. 

Asher Miller  13:40
That triggered, you know, me wanting to do this episode. Okay? 

Rob Dietz  13:43
I knew what this was gonna be when you talked about walking in your neighborhood.

Asher Miller  13:47
So you go up to the top of my list. It's the Echo PB 9010T backpack leaf blower. Okay?

Jason Bradford  13:59
Yeah. What does all that mean? That PB, 901?

Asher Miller  14:06
It's just the name of the unit. Okay? So this thing, for folks who don't know, maybe they live in a part of the world that I would love to inhabit, where they're not surrounded by backpack leaf blowers. These things are, as the name describes, something you wear on your back, yeah, with a big fucking engine behind you, with a canister for your, for your gasoline, and it's got a big, it's got these hoses and this big arm that sticks out from your body with a blower on it.

Jason Bradford  14:39
Right. Very compact engine, incredible.

Asher Miller  14:42
And you use it to blow things from one fucking spot, to another fucking spot, for no fucking reason. 

Jason Bradford  14:48
It's got a large capacity fuel tank, but I'm looking at it, it looks like about a quart.

Asher Miller  14:53
So it's, you know, it's a 79.9 CC professional grade two stroke engine. Variable speed. 

Jason Bradford  15:02
That's nice. 

Asher Miller  15:02
It's got tube mountain throttle with cruise control on it. 

Jason Bradford  15:06
Cruise control, ha. 

Asher Miller  15:06
So you don't have to keep, you know, pushing on the button. 

Jason Bradford  15:08
Yes, just hold it down. 

Asher Miller  15:10
It's got 48 Newtons of blowing force. So just for people to understand what a Newton is, that's the force -- One Newton equals a force required to accelerate an object with a mass of one kilogram, one meter per second. Yeah, it's got 48 of those. 

Rob Dietz  15:24
It's freaking fast. Look, I'm completely --

Asher Miller  15:27
And powerful. Fast? 220 miles per hour. 

Jason Bradford  15:31
That's kinda dangerous. 

Asher Miller  15:32
That blows out of that thing. Okay? It weighs without the gasoline in it, 26,7 pounds. 

Jason Bradford  15:36
That's kind of heavy, actually. 

Asher Miller  15:38
And it produces 80 decibels. So if you want to think about how loud that is, that's like an extremely loud restaurant, walking down a road with, like, heavy traffic. This is the stuff that's just drives me absolutely insane.

Jason Bradford  15:42
This is layered, actually. I think this is deep. What I like about this is that, Rob and I's selection was obviously, it obviously went all these different directions. This, this encapsulates with one simple artifact, it encapsulates so much actually. 

Asher Miller  16:07
It does, you're right. 

Jason Bradford  16:08
So I actually think that you've made a wonderful selection here. 

Rob Dietz  16:11
Well look, I'm completely supportive of the blower. And I think you guys know I have real experience. Like I've logged two summers with one of these on my back. And every time you use it, you have to wear earplugs. Otherwise it's like you're at a rock concert.

Asher Miller  16:27
People around you, they don't have earplugs. 

Rob Dietz  16:30
Yeah. 

Asher Miller  16:31
Or the dog. 

Rob Dietz  16:32
When I would get home from the job, I would take a shower, and I would do the farmers blow out the nose, and all this crap, because as you said, first it's dust, but also a two stroke engine. You're burning oil and breathing that exhaust. 

Asher Miller  16:44
They are, I think, pound for pound, the worst emitters of you know, greenhouse gas.

Jason Bradford  16:51
And particulates and stuff.

Rob Dietz  16:53
I have a little quibble you said that you blow stuff from one place to another for no fucking reason. But it's so that you can have that manicured Victorian lawn. What a brilliant reason to --

Asher Miller  17:07
And then the wind comes back. It blows her right back to where it was before. 

Jason Bradford  17:10
I just think, right. In 2100, these peasants that have made their lifetime trip, right, by donkey -- 

Asher Miller  17:19
Their special like, their trek to Mecca. Their pilgrimage.

Jason Bradford  17:22
And they're in a tent camp around the museum. We have potable water with hand pumps for them. 

Asher Miller  17:29
Yes. 

Jason Bradford  17:30
They're gonna look at it and they're going to be astonished.

Asher Miller  17:32
No, no, now. This is not how they're gonna experience it. Twice a day --

Jason Bradford  17:38
You turn it on? 

Asher Miller  17:38
You turn it on. 

Jason Bradford  17:39
Oh my God!

Asher Miller  17:40
So it's like a show. 

Rob Dietz  17:41
It's me! I get to be the backpack blower guy again. 

Asher Miller  17:45
Right. So you get to really experience it, you know? All of its glory.

Jason Bradford  17:49
And they might blow at you if you ask them to. Feel the power of the Newton.

Asher Miller  17:53
Just twice a day because you gotta save the fuel, yeah. Oh my Lord.

Jason Bradford  17:58
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Asher Miller  19:10
Alright, Jason, it's time for your second item. I hope you're thinking carefully about this because you only got two spots left.

Jason Bradford  19:17
I have two more left. I think this one fits, yes. So one thing that always amazes me is when professional sports teams sort of blackmail the cities for new stadiums. 

Asher Miller  19:32
Right. You guys have got to pay for this. 

Jason Bradford  19:34
So there's like, you know, Vegas poached the A's and the Raiders. And right now, actually, Saudi Arabia and Dubai are poaching whole sports industries.

Rob Dietz  19:46
Yeah, I remember the World Cup was in Qatar a few years ago.

Jason Bradford  19:49
And they have to do it in the winter. Like you have to switch seasons for everything now because it's too hot otherwise. 

Rob Dietz  19:52
No, you just air condition the stadium. 

Jason Bradford  19:53
Air condition the seats, you know. So anyway, so this exhibit actually comes from, it's a U.S. stadium. It's called the SoFi stadium. It's in Los Angeles. It opened in 2020 and it has a capacity of 70,000-200,000 because for concerts you can get on the on the field. And it cost five a half billion to build between 2016 and 2020. Now I want you to look at the image from the air. Notice there's some greenery.

Rob Dietz  20:29
Really? It looks like a sea of concrete to me. 

Jason Bradford  20:31
If you focus in there's some ponds. 

Asher Miller  20:34
Yeah, there's some ponds. Those are waste ponds probably. 

Rob Dietz  20:37
That's the urinal flow straight out of the stadium.

Jason Bradford  20:40
I bet ducks and geese land on there once in a while. 

Asher Miller  20:43
Oh I'm sure. 

Jason Bradford  20:44
But yeah, the amount of just steel and concrete that's vast is tremendous. And scroll down a little bit, there's an image from the outside, and you see the point.

Asher Miller  20:55
Oh yeah, the pond is beautiful. Makes it seem so natural. 

Jason Bradford  20:58
Yes, it's a concrete pond.

Rob Dietz  21:00
You said it's in. LA, I mean, this definitely has a Disneyland feel to it to me. It looks like something you could see at an amusement park.

Jason Bradford  21:08
Yes, but it's just one big though, like, what's amazing about this stadium, even though they're in LA, it's like enclosed. You know? It's like, no, it rains four days a year -- But it's sort of like a skylight enclosure.

Rob Dietz  21:24
Well come on, if you want to maximize how much microplastic everyone's breathing, you've got to enclose it. You don't want any fresh air.

Jason Bradford  21:32
I haven't been here, so scroll down. You can see what I mean by almost like an enclosure. But yet light gets in, natural lighting. So look at this. This is WrestleMania.

Asher Miller  21:41
Look at that screen, man. That like wraps all the way around, it's enormous.

Jason Bradford  21:46
So what I like about it, it's not just for sports, it's also for fake sports. 

Asher Miller  21:52
Like WrestleMania?

Jason Bradford  21:54
And concerts. Yeah. So they're getting a lot of use out of this.

Asher Miller  21:57
So, how do you envision this being inside our museum in the future? Is this like a diorama kind of thing? 

Jason Bradford  22:04
Yeah, I think for this we have to do models. Have you been - there's a bay model in San Francisco. Have you ever been to that? So, in the San Francisco Bay, they decided they were going to do all this work of dredging and filling, and maybe even, like, blocking the opening to the bay and using the current for hydroelectric. I mean, there was all these crazy plans. And so, some people raised their hand and said, "Let's build a model so that we can test this insane idea we have." And it was built in like, the 40s, or whatever, 30s or 40s. This was when everyone was thinking, like, build giant concrete structures for everything. And so that model is still there and it's impressive. It's like in a building that's huge, and the model is gigantic. 

Asher Miller  22:51
Got it. So you're thinking to do a model, not at scale, but it needs to be significant.

Jason Bradford  22:57
I'm thinking a significant model, like, maybe the size of like a basketball court. You know what I mean? 

Asher Miller  23:01
So it takes a while to walk around it. 

Jason Bradford  23:03
Yeah, you'd have like platforms. You could sort of walk over it as if you're in an airplane.

Rob Dietz  23:07
You'll be like Godzilla walking through this stadium.

Jason Bradford  23:10
There will be ways of getting around safely. And there'll be little cutouts. Maybe you can see inside. 

Rob Dietz  23:15
I've got to give you props for two things in your exhibit. One, I hope it includes WrestleMania.

Asher Miller  23:25
Yeah, you have to have little figures, like Hulk Hogan. 

Jason Bradford  23:27
I think he never wrestled there. He's too old now, but yeah.

Rob Dietz  23:30
The Rock and John Cena. 

Jason Bradford  23:31
I don't know any names of any. Yeah. I think our education secretary might be there. 

Rob Dietz  23:38
And I give you credit --

Jason Bradford  23:41
I know. I know. We should highlight that. In 2025, the wife of the WrestleMania owner -

Rob Dietz  23:49
Vince McMahon, yeah. 

Jason Bradford  23:50
Vince McMahon's wife, is our Secretary of Education. She's in the audience here. It'll be a little stick figure. It'll be a little figure of her figurine.

Rob Dietz  23:59
I also got to say, I mean, the stadium is named SoFi, which is like a banking and credit card company. It's perfect. 

Asher Miller  24:12
Exactly. Totally perfect. 

Jason Bradford  24:14
Credit industry, banking industry because -- Actually, one of the things I wanted to do was, and this is very good, thank you for this. I wanted to talk about money creation and modern banking as one of our exhibits. And so maybe this is a sidebar of this.

Asher Miller  24:21
Yeah, you could tie that in. And you could also, you could talk about how we had multi, multi, multi, multi, multi, billion dollar industries for sports, right? Because I think SoFi, isn't that a football stadium as well?

Jason Bradford  24:34
Two football teams play there. The Chargers and the Rams.

Asher Miller  24:36
So they're doubling up. So we talk about, you know, you compare this to  the Coliseum. Well, you know, they would have lions and slaves and all these gladiators fighting in there. So we advanced, you know, now to other forms of people hurting themselves for other people's pleasure. Great. Okay, Rob, you're second.

Rob Dietz  25:00
Awesome. For my next draft pick, I am taking Ronald Reagan's 1985 Inaugural Address. 

Jason Bradford  25:08
Oh, wait a second. 

Asher Miller  25:09
You're going completely different. 

Rob Dietz  25:11
I want our museum to have all the senses. So this is mostly an auditory experience.

Jason Bradford  25:17
Oh, you get to hear him. Oh, that's perfect.

Rob Dietz  25:20
So Reagan - 

Asher Miller  25:22
"Tear down that wall."

Rob Dietz  25:23
In 1985, when he was reelected, you know, to do his second term. In his speech, he said, "There are no limits to growth and human progress when men and women are free to follow their dreams.

Jason Bradford  25:37
Do you know how crazy that's gonna sound? 

Asher Miller  25:39
Oh yeah. 

Jason Bradford  25:39
Oh, these poor people. Oh, God. I feel sorry for a lot of the listeners of this. 

Asher Miller  25:44
Well, they would be puzzled. They would find this very puzzling.

Rob Dietz  25:47
This will help explain it. Because he goes on to say, he says, "At the heart of our efforts is one idea vindicated by 25 straight months of economic growth. Freedom and incentives unleash the drive and entrepreneurial genius that are the core of human progress."

Jason Bradford  26:09
The people are like, "We've had 79 years of unmitigated collapse."

Rob Dietz  26:19
Hey, there are no limits when men and women are free to follow their dreams. It's actually kind of the prototype for Trump is Reagan. You know, here was a Hollywood actor instead of a reality TV star. 

Jason Bradford  26:33
What's funny is, like, right now I remember, like  the other day I was saying, "God, I wish Bob Dole was back." I kind of wish Reagan was back. Like, if we were to have a president, I would be okay with Reagan compared to what we've got now. That's bad.

Rob Dietz  26:50
But you can see it was all a ramping up, right? And this whole worship of progress and technology and growth. And I've been thinking, you know, you just proposed a really expensive exhibit. We have to be, you know, we have to be responsible here, you know, and watch our finances. So this is a cheap one. We've just got to get the recording and play that. Or maybe I can just be there and do an in person. 

Jason Bradford  27:15
No. No, no, no. 

Asher Miller  27:15
Well, you'll be dead by then. 

Jason Bradford  27:16
I want a recording.

Rob Dietz  27:17
Alright. The recording, the actual thing. 

Jason Bradford  27:19
Yes. 

Rob Dietz  27:19
And then I'm going to go over to the Ronald Reagan Building in Washington D.C., with the two of you, and we're just going to take these things off the wall. There's bass relief sculptures. One is of Ronald Reagan's head and the other has that, "There are no limits" quotes.

Jason Bradford  27:35
Oh, the words are there. 

Asher Miller  27:36
It's right up on a wall, yeah. 

Rob Dietz  27:37
It's like two matching big plates almost. And we just throw these plates in our museum. 

Asher Miller  27:42
Perfect.

Jason Bradford  27:43
Oh, that is simple, elegant.

Asher Miller  27:45
That sounds great.

Jason Bradford  27:47
And the people will absolutely just be completely befuddled by it. This is wonderful. Good job. Okay. 

Rob Dietz  27:53
Thank you. 

Asher Miller  27:54
Okay, so my second, you guys ready? 

Jason Bradford  27:56
Yeah, let's see here. Scroll over to your page. 

Asher Miller  27:59
Yep. So we're gonna go to item number two, the Barbie Pool Party play set.

Rob Dietz  28:08
I want that. Look how awesome it is. Three stories.

Asher Miller  28:12
Again, listeners, we'll put an image of this up on the website. 

Jason Bradford  28:16
There's a lot of pink. 

Asher Miller  28:17
You could check it out for yourselves. I'm gonna read straight from the website, okay? Welcome to the Barbie, you know there's a trademark little thing there. 

Jason Bradford  28:26
No, that's --

Asher Miller  28:26
Registered. 

Jason Bradford  28:27
Registered. And what's the TM? What's the idea between registered and TM?

Asher Miller  28:31
We don't need to know. 

Jason Bradford  28:31
Okay, sorry. 

Asher Miller  28:32
So, "Welcome to the Barbie Dream House where a 360 degree play inspires endless fun. This updated version of the iconic dollhouse features an open design, premium features, and 75 storytelling pieces. Barbie can host the pool party of her dreams with her home's spectacular three story spiral slide. Watch as Barbie's doll and her friends swirl down the slide into the pool. Doll's not included. This dollhouse doubles as a veritable Pet Palace and even includes a puppy figure. Furry friends will have a blast with the pet elevator, pet slide and pool, pet bed, doggy door and pet house. Right from the start, kids can spend hours exploring 10 different play areas, a kitchen, a living room, a dining room, a bedroom, a bathroom, a closet, bonus room, balcony, pool and the biggest slide yet. The pool party can turn into a slumber party with space to sleep four dolls. The Living Room console transforms into the ultimate sleepover spot with a starry backdrop and an extra bed for two. Dreamy features include integrated lights and sounds in the kitchen and the bathroom." I wonder what the bathroom sounds are. 

Jason Bradford  29:43
Yeah. Haha!

Asher Miller  29:44
"And it has a working elevator that is wheelchair accessible." Thank you very much. "An adorable swing and fabulous closet and more." So this thing, you know, there's a picture here of a girl who, I don't know you think she's like, what? Six in that picture? Five or six?

Jason Bradford  29:59
I think eight. 

Asher Miller  30:00
Okay, maybe a little older. You know she's on her knees but this thing towers over her. 

Jason Bradford  30:05
It's big. 

Asher Miller  30:06
It's pretty big, right? And she's got, you can see there's a pink convertible car. There's a slide and a pool just for the dog.

Jason Bradford  30:14
I think it's a wide angle lens shot and she's in the back. So I think there's a little bit of sort of playing with perception here. But I do agree this has got to be big.

Rob Dietz  30:23
I've got to say, I think you should display this as it comes without the dolls because I'll be more representative of how many will be living in a place like this in 2125.. 

Asher Miller  30:33
It's one person alone just eating away their sorrow. 

Jason Bradford  30:36
Oh I have, I actually have a great idea for this. Because the Barbie doll collection will be something that the people of this time will keep digging up. They'll just keep finding them.

Asher Miller  30:49
Like. artifacts. Like when we find Roman coins in England somewhere.

Jason Bradford  30:54
So what I think we should actually do with this is we should break the fourth wall a little bit and have some dolls that have been excavated. Like this was excavated in 2105 and then put that doll there in a pristine house. And so this will represent sort of like the decay.

Rob Dietz  31:16
I love the idea. And I think we should even go a step further and say in like 2325 we'll have like, a pile of broken plastic. And then in 2525, we'll have the nano plastics, you know, and you actually can go and breathe them in. 

Jason Bradford  31:31
Yeah, you can . Okay, yeah, no. I mean, it's great. It's got car culture, obviously. Think about what people will be thinking.

Asher Miller  31:40
I know, looking at this thing. 

Jason Bradford  31:41
All of this stuff, right? Everyone's got like - 

Jason Bradford  31:41
About the size of the dwelling. You expect you have all these rooms and ...

Jason Bradford  31:43
All this stuff, the clothes.

Rob Dietz  31:49
I like how there's a plastic palm tree on the third story. It reminds me of that Radiohead song, you know, the Fake Plastic Trees.

Jason Bradford  31:57
The other thing that gets me is the artificial, like the synthetic colors we have nowadays. 

Asher Miller  32:01
Yeah, totally. That pink. There's different shades of pink.

Jason Bradford  32:05
Everything is a synthetic color. And if you go back in time, you think about people all having natural colors. Like these artificial dyes didn't exist, and how different everybody's sense of color would have been this. This is just such a slap in the face. It's like pouring a bowl of fruit loops.

Rob Dietz  32:23
Well, the details in this are amazing. There's a baby pool with a mom and daughter sitting in there. And if you look at it, there's drinks on little floats in the baby pool.

Asher Miller  32:34
I mean, that is a dream house. It really is a dream house. It's what every little girl wants in the future.

Jason Bradford  32:39
God. Okay, good one, Asher.

Rob Dietz  32:47
We love hearing from listeners who are doing good work out there in the world, and we hope that maybe you'll find some inspiration in the example that I'm sharing now. Dwayne is a male artist, that's m-a-i-l.

Asher Miller  33:01
Okay, glad you clarified. 

Rob Dietz  33:03
Postal artist. Mail art is this kind of unusual artistic movement that's centered on sending small scale works of art through the mail. And we were amazed when we received an envelope from Dwayne here at Crazy Town worldwide headquarters. Besides a very kind letter, we got a beautifully rendered page of stamps. Each one commemorates the villains of our false prophets in Crazy Town. 

Jason Bradford  33:29
It's awesome. 

Asher Miller  33:30
It's amazing. 

Rob Dietz  33:31
Along with a stamp for each false prophet, the page includes a summary of our season that's better than we could have written. The page also has a proper title, "Noxious Weeds of the Enshitacene."

Jason Bradford  33:44
That's very much our style. Thank you, Dwayne. 

Rob Dietz  33:46
And Dwayne even created a cool booklet to accompany the stamps and bolster his message of weeding out these false prophets. So I just want, what'd you guys think when we got this in the mail?

Asher Miller  33:57
It was cool to see them all laid out that way. You know, as like, it's like a collector set of these false prophets. You know, some of them are nice people, but Elon Musk in there, and you know, seeing some of these other characters. 

Jason Bradford  34:13
I kind of like, at first, I'm like, "What is this?" 

Asher Miller  34:16
It's pretty amazing. 

Jason Bradford  34:18
Yeah, I had never heard of any activity like this. I've heard of stamp collecting, right? But I've never heard of making your own stamps.

Asher Miller  34:26
I guess there's this whole group, right? They send these stamps through the mail and they put them on the outside.

Rob Dietz  34:32
Yeah, they do stuff with the envelopes too. And yeah, it's just kind of a cool, like I said, artistic movement. I also just want to highlight that art plays a huge role in changing minds, opening people up to new ideas. And so, you know, I just wanted to say thanks to Dwayne for taking the time to produce that and to share it with us. And you know, anybody out there who's got any artistic talents, you know, use them to spread awareness and the message for the kind of society that's sustainable, fair, you know, what we want to see in the world.

Jason Bradford  35:06
Yeah, that was absolutely awesome. It was very heartwarming to think that that season, you know, was so impactful that he did a project like that. So it really helps us keep going when we know that there's listeners that care so much about this show. Thank you so much.

Rob Dietz  35:23
Yeah. And folks, please let us know if you're doing something out there. Send us an email at crazytown@postcarbon.org. That's crazytown@postcarbon.org.

Asher Miller  35:40
Alright, guys, so Jason, we're gonna turn to you. Just remember, this is your last item that you could place into the museum. Think very carefully about what you're gonna include.

Jason Bradford  35:49
I'm feeling pretty solid about this one. And this one is about solid waste. 

Rob Dietz  35:55
Wow. You are on fire today. 

Asher Miller  35:57
The look on his face when he said solid. He just got this glint in his eye. 

Jason Bradford  36:02
Yeah, I'm pretty good at dad jokes by now. Yes, seriously.  So alright, just imagine, you're in 2025. 

Asher Miller  36:11
2125. 

Jason Bradford  36:11
Sorry, 2125 you're in this tent - 

Asher Miller  36:13
We are in 2025. 

Jason Bradford  36:15
You're in this tent encampment outside of the museum.

Asher Miller  36:21
You travel for days to get there. It's been this pilgrimage for your family.

Jason Bradford  36:24
Everything you've carried with you, you know, has been important and there's nothing extra. And then you look at this exhibit, which is about the fact that you just put stuff in plastic bins and trucks haul it away for you. And let just scope out what I think the exhibit should look like. So you've got three modern plastic solid waste household receptacles. This is what people see first, right? You've got a trash, recycling, yard waste, right? And maybe these are against a wall that's sort of like a giant life size picture of a neighborhood. Right? Like you can imagine these 3D objects you can actually touch and interact with, but then there's a neighborhood and you realize this, this just goes on. Maybe it's a long, like a wide wall. It just goes

Rob Dietz  37:15
You really missed your calling as a museum guy. You love these dioramas, these setups.

Jason Bradford  37:22
Okay, speaking of dioramas - 

Asher Miller  37:24
These bins are real. People can go and touch them. 

Jason Bradford  37:25
And it's like, this week you have this much of this kind of --

Asher Miller  37:29
It will their mind, right, thinking about how large these bins are.

Jason Bradford  37:32
Yes. How large they are, right? And okay. And then there's another diorama. I love dioramas. This one is, so imagine you've got this museum building that's pretty tall with this big open space. And against one of these walls, again, this tall wall, is this glass front, and it goes all the way up to the ceiling and behind it is like the layers of a landfill. 

Asher Miller  38:01
Oh like the strata. Like the geological strata of - 

Rob Dietz  38:04
I think it's like an ant farm, almost. You're looking through the glass and seeing the - 

Asher Miller  38:08
So you see layers of, like, you know, disposable diapers and . . . 

Jason Bradford  38:12
Yes. And the way these landfills work is that you've got like a layer of trash, but then they actually push dirt over it, they cover it, instead of open air. 

Asher Miller  38:20
The bury it.

Jason Bradford  38:21
And then there's another layer of trash and more dirt, and they kind of grow in these layers. 

Asher Miller  38:26
These trucks that come bring the trash in. 

Jason Bradford  38:30
Okay, so go to my page. Go to my page.

Asher Miller  38:32
Yeah. 

Jason Bradford  38:33
And maybe there's a plastic liner at the bottom, and then there's these pipes in to collect the gas. 

Jason Bradford  38:37
Oh right. Of course. Right

Jason Bradford  38:38
Yeah, and there's what's called a Co-Gen facility for this thing called electricity.

Asher Miller  38:44
This thing called "Electricity," he says with quotation marks.

Jason Bradford  38:47
Yeah. 

Rob Dietz  38:48
Quote Ben Franklin with a kite and a key running down the block. 

Jason Bradford  38:56
What are you imagining 2125 to be like with no electricity? People don't even know what that is. 

Rob Dietz  39:04
They don't even know what static electricity is. 

Asher Miller  39:04
That went extinct too.

Jason Bradford  39:04
Well, there's a little hamster wheels and they're spinning a little turbine.

Asher Miller  39:05
That's how, yeah, that's how they get everything.

Jason Bradford  39:06
Okay, so look here and look at - I have a stat of the world's largest landfills. And look where the largest landfill is. 

Asher Miller  39:12
Oh my God. 

Rob Dietz  39:13
Of course, Las Vegas. 

Asher Miller  39:14
Las Vegas. It's not just the world's largest. It's like more than double the next one. 

Jason Bradford  39:19
Yes, which is in Mexico City. 

Jason Bradford  39:21
Holy shit. 

Jason Bradford  39:22
And the Mexico City one, I guess, didn't cover - 

Asher Miller  39:25
That's amazing because what is a population of Vegas compared to Mexico City?

Jason Bradford  39:27
I know. Well, the Vegas one is supposed to last like the next 250, years. 

Rob Dietz  39:31
Plus, Asher, they do bury holy shit in the Vegas landfill.

Asher Miller  39:36
Mafia buries a lot of dead bodies.

Jason Bradford  39:39
By size, by area, it's the largest. It also receives - This was incredible - 300 tons of trash per hour. 

Asher Miller  39:46
Per hour? 

Jason Bradford  39:47
Yeah, open 8am to 4pm.

Rob Dietz  39:49
So that's just my family's disposal. We put about 300 tons out each hour.

Jason Bradford  39:55
Okay, so then the other thing I want to have on display is I want another one of these big dioramas where you're looking down on a landscape view, like I did with the SoFi Museum, but this one is this landfill, this 2,200 acre landfill. 

Asher Miller  40:09
So what's around it? Just fucking desert? 

Jason Bradford  40:11
Well, pretty much just fucking desert. But what's amazing - 

Rob Dietz  40:14
JFD. 

Asher Miller  40:15
And some roads leading to it.

Jason Bradford  40:17
Well, these landfills are incredible because if you zoom in on this one, you can see the front - you can see the frontal edge of where they're building, okay? But what they're doing is they're always excavating in one location, and there's all these excavators and rock sorters because they have to create the - 

Asher Miller  40:32
Are they getting ready for the next batches? 

Jason Bradford  40:34
Yes. So they have this giant earth moving equipment making piles of stuff. And then they make a hole in the ground. Then they fill the hole in the ground with trash. And then they take the dirt that they excavate, and they put it on top of that in these layers. So this whole site, you could walk around it, and you could then, like, see all these little mini tonka truck kind of scale stuff of cranes and bulldozers.

Asher Miller  40:55
We've gotta get cracking on  saving some of these things now before it's too late. Like, you know, we need to - 

Jason Bradford  41:03
Oh, the models. 

Asher Miller  41:03
Yeah, Tonka truck models and stick them in the in your closet or something.

Jason Bradford  41:07
Well scroll down a little bit. You can see one of these semi trucks has got a dumping capacity. 

Asher Miller  41:17
Yeah, awesome. 

Jason Bradford  41:17
Because this is a semi truck with, you know, this has got like 25 ton capacity, or whatever, and it's lifting up at about a 60 degree angle to dump trash out the frontal end of this. 

Asher Miller  41:22
Lovely. 

Rob Dietz  41:23
That is incredible. 

Jason Bradford  41:24
Yeah. And so there's some images of what, you know, the fresh dump looks like. And look at the beautiful background. Scroll down to the bottom, you can see the mountains in the background, the snow.

Rob Dietz  41:34
Yeah, very nice.

Asher Miller  41:35
I was struck by the beauty of the landfill. I wasn't even paying attention in the mountains in the background.

Rob Dietz  41:40
I have two add-ons for your exhibit, Jason, if I may. I don't want to encroach. But one is --

Jason Bradford  41:47
No, no, no. We're curators together.

Asher Miller  41:47
You want to shit on his landfill.

Rob Dietz  41:51
When I was young, I had a time where I was re-roofing a house, right? So this was like hot Georgia summer. We're up there pulling asphalt shingles off, and we're tossing them into a pickup truck to hollow it. Nothing as big as the actual truck you're showing here, but we would take it to the landfill. Yeah, and my God, did it stink. It smelled so bad. And so you remember I was talking about, I like the multi sense --

Asher Miller  42:20
Sensory, yeah. 

Rob Dietz  42:21
Yeah, Let's have the smell of a landfill. 

Asher Miller  42:24
How are we going to capture that 100 years from now.

Jason Bradford  42:27
Well, I think . . . Okay, 100 years from now - 

Asher Miller  42:30
Scratch and sniff. 

Jason Bradford  42:31
Will there be indoor plumbing?

Asher Miller  42:35
Well, good question. I mean, they had indoor plumbing before, you know . . .

Rob Dietz  42:38
Okay, look, you guys said that people would ride donkeys to the museum.

Asher Miller  42:42
I didn't say donkeys. 

Rob Dietz  42:43
Somebody did.

Asher Miller  42:44
You just had this picture in your head. 

Jason Bradford  42:46
I think they're taking, like, donkey carts and they're getting to this museum. I think people be used to these kind of smells, maybe.

Rob Dietz  42:53
When I was in a landfill, it did not smell like donkeys. It was actually worse. 

Asher Miller  42:58
Yeah, yeah. Way worse. 

Jason Bradford  42:58
There's something unique. So we have to have, like --

Asher Miller  43:01
Human diapers, dude. 

Jason Bradford  43:02
Alright, so here's what we do. We have a team of curators that are maybe finding residual relics of this historic era of 2025. And they're actually displaying them. And they're doing stuff, like, they're wetting them down. They're like bio activating with urine and it's like recreating this aura.

Rob Dietz  43:28
I got it. I got it. Okay, so here was my other tweak. We have an actual dumpster and we have it on fire. 

Jason Bradford  43:34
Yes. The plastic burning. 

Rob Dietz  43:36
And then the audience can pee on it and then that'll be the smell. ,

Asher Miller  43:41
Sorry, no no no. I have a slight change. The dumpster on fir is outside the museum. It's the signal for people to know where to go. 

Jason Bradford  43:53
Or that it's open today. Like a smoke signal.

Asher Miller  43:55
Right. The can see the light from miles away. And then the dumpster fires is a representation of everything they'll find inside.

Rob Dietz  44:02
Where do I go? Just follow the trail of dumpster fire.

Jason Bradford  44:05
Yes, yes. All roads lead to this museum then.

Asher Miller  44:09
Okay, Rob, can we turn to your final addition to the museum?

Rob Dietz  44:13
We can. And I gotta say I was gonna do Nicky Big's Novelties Deluxe fake dog poop crap pile. I'd like you guys to take a look at the photo.

Asher Miller  44:27
No. God. 

Jason Bradford  44:27
That's ugly. 

Rob Dietz  44:29
I've decided to scrap this as a official Crazy Town museum exhibit. 

Asher Miller  44:34
I'm glad. 

Jason Bradford  44:34
Alright, yes. 

Rob Dietz  44:35
Not because of disgust, but because we've already covered plastics. Jason, I think the landfill sort of covers the detritus angle. So sadly, I've gotta let it go. Although we will sell this - We're gonna sell it in the museum giftshop.

Jason Bradford  44:51
There you go. Compromise. Okay, okay.

Rob Dietz  44:55
I don't know what to charge for it, but --

Asher Miller  44:57
People like giving you seeds in exchange.

Rob Dietz  45:01
Yeah, give me something useful. I'll give you a pile of plastic dog crap.

Jason Bradford  45:05
There's a half pound of sorghum.

Rob Dietz  45:09
So the actual museum piece. 

Jason Bradford  45:12
Oh shit. I just scrolled over to it 

Rob Dietz  45:14
Yeah, scroll on down. It's the Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas, which is the world's largest cruise ship. 

Asher Miller  45:22
Wait, the actual thing?

Rob Dietz  45:23
 Yes, this is gonna be the building that houses the Crazy Town Museum. 

Jason Bradford  45:27
How are we gonna get it there?

Rob Dietz  45:28
We're gonna sail it. 

Asher Miller  45:29
Yeah actually, we haven't talked about where we would place this museum. 

Jason Bradford  45:31
That's a great question. I guess he wants it to be along some like --

Jason Bradford  45:35
Along the coast. 

Jason Bradford  45:35
Along the Gulf Coast. But that's gone. You can't go there anymore.

Rob Dietz  45:38
Maybe around Dubai, or somewhere in the Middle East, or . . . 

Jason Bradford  45:43
Okay, I'm gonna suspend disbelief. Everything so far has been highly realistic, but I'm just gonna like - 

Rob Dietz  45:48
Come on. You're gonna anchor this thing somewhere. And, well, you know, as sea level rises, it'll move inland a little bit more.

Jason Bradford  45:56
Okay. 

Asher Miller  45:56
Because the best use of this thing would be to put it as a museum.

Jason Bradford  46:00
We get it up through the Great Lakes somehow. That would make more sense.

Rob Dietz  46:03
It is the museum . We're gonna house all our exhibits within the Icon of the Seas.

Asher Miller  46:09
Man, our fundraising for this museum is gonna be crazy.

Rob Dietz  46:13
Yeah, it's going up. Let me tell you a little bit about it. It's the world's largest cruise ship and the largest passenger ship in history. 

Asher Miller  46:20
Great. 

Rob Dietz  46:20
Gross tonnage, 250,800. 

Asher Miller  46:23
Tons? 

Rob Dietz  46:24
Yeah. Length is 1,197 feet. That's 365 meters. You could think about if you ran a mile around a track, it'd be a little less than that. But unfurl that track four times. That's how long this thing is. You can have 7,600 passengers. That's its capacity. So that's how many museum goers we could have coming through each day.

Asher Miller  46:51
Are there gonna be that many humans left? 

Rob Dietz  46:54
I don't know. We'll see. It's known for having the largest swimming pool and the most water slides of any ocean vessel. It's got five more water slides than a Barbie Dream House. 

Asher Miller  47:04
Right, right. 

Rob Dietz  47:05
Total of six. Scroll down to see the water slides. 

Jason Bradford  47:08
Oh my God, the colors. 

Rob Dietz  47:09
These incredible pink and green and blue noodles kind of ranging all over the ship's deck. 

Jason Bradford  47:14
Oh my God. I kind of want to go. I actually think I want to just experience this. 

Asher Miller  47:20
I think my brain would crack. 

Jason Bradford  47:23
We should try and it's okay if it cracks.

Rob Dietz  47:25
You think we should have a Crazy Town episode on the Icon of the Seas.

Jason Bradford  47:29
I think we should raise money from this. I think listeners should donate so all three of us can go on a trip.

Asher Miller  47:34
Yeah. Good look at that one. 

Rob Dietz  47:37
When I was deciding what our museum building should be, this was my top choice. But, you know, I could have also selected the biggest warship ever, which is the USS Gerald R. Ford, an aircraft carrier that's almost as long as the Icon of the Seas. Could have selected the biggest ship that ever been created which was an oil tanker. 

Asher Miller  48:00
Of course it was. 

Jason Bradford  48:01
Are you kidding? 

Rob Dietz  48:02
Called Sea Wise Giant. 

Asher Miller  48:03
Very wise. 

Rob Dietz  48:05
It did not have a very long life either. 

Asher Miller  48:08
Giants don't usually live very long. We talked about - Who was that 8'11" dude? 

Rob Dietz  48:20
Robert Wadlow

Asher Miller  48:20
Thank you. I knew you'd remember

Rob Dietz  48:20
Died early 20s. His circulatory system could not keep up with the demands. Yeah, that Sea Wise Giant sailed from 1979 to 2010 and then it was scrapped. Or, I could have picked the biggest container ship, the MSC Irena, with a capacity of 24,346 containers that are each 20 feet long, 8 feet wide, 8 and a half feet high.

Asher Miller  48:42
Full of all the stuff that we wind up throwing away in, you know, the landfill. 

Jason Bradford  48:47
Yes, in the landfill. 

Asher Miller  48:48
It's a beautiful, virtuous cycle of life.

Jason Bradford  48:50
But this is by far the best because the commercialism. I think I've seen pictures of the inside of this. This thing has two, sort of like parallel housing complex-like, like apartment complexes on each side. And then on the top is all the water -  It's like a water park on the top. And then down the middle, I've seen a picture of this, and it's a shopping mall down the middle. With like restaurants and things like that.

Asher Miller  49:13
Of course there is. So we'd have to help people envision what a day on this cruise ship was like for the average person, right? You're like waddling out to the buffet, right, eating God knows how many calories. You're gonna go shopping in the shopping mall in the middle, right? Your kids,  because they're still healthy enough to climb some stairs, would climb up, you know, to go down the water slides.

Jason Bradford  49:43
So the exhibit could have, like, a portion of a water slide. It could have maybe like - 

Asher Miller  49:47
 What are you talking about? This is the museum.

Jason Bradford  49:51
Oh my God. How are we going to pull this off? This is importance. 

Rob Dietz  49:54
And think about it. Right at the entrance you're not allowed into our building unless you get totally boozed up and utterly sloshed.

Jason Bradford  50:02
We're going to have free food and drink at our museum. We're gonna go broke.

Asher Miller  50:07
Yeah, no, it's not gonna work. Okay, alright. Let me bring it down back to Earth. So one of the things we have not discussed yet is food. Where people eat, right? 

Jason Bradford  50:24
Yeah, now. Today. 

Asher Miller  50:25
And helping people in the future imagine what people had eaten.

Jason Bradford  50:28
Right, as opposed to sort of gruel.

Asher Miller  50:30
Yeah. So I want to introduce the Jimmy Dean blueberry pancake and sausage on a stick. The height of cuisine. 

Jason Bradford  50:41
Haute cuisine,

Rob Dietz  50:45
It is the height because it adds extra height with that stick. The stick is like 12 inches off the ground.

Asher Miller  50:51
So just imagine, you've gotta get a little carton of these, okay?

Jason Bradford  50:56
This is like a corn dog but instead it's a pancake wrap.

Asher Miller  50:59
Right. It's got sausage in the middle. And then they take a blueberry pancake and they wrap it around, and then they just shove it all up with a stick, right? So you can hold it in your hand while you're, I don't know, playing Candy Crush on your phone. 

Rob Dietz  51:13
Yeah, while you're going down the water slide. 

Asher Miller  51:15
Exactly. So, you know, these come in packages. They're individually wrapped in plastic, of course, right? 

Asher Miller  51:22
Yes. 

Asher Miller  51:23
You freeze them - 

Jason Bradford  51:24
A minute and a half in the microwave?

Asher Miller  51:26
I'm not sure. You freeze them, right? So there's all energy that goes into keeping them frozen. And then you stick them in a microwave to heat back up so you can eat them for breakfast. Okay? Now you'll be happy to hear that it's made with quote unquote, "real ingredients," okay,  according to Jimmy Dean here, which means no high fructose corn syrup. But let me read to you the real ingredients, o[kay? And I'm going to have to take a deep breath here because this is quite a long list. And our museum would feature this list.

Jason Bradford  51:56
It says active ingredients. What the hell does that mean. 

Asher Miller  51:56
Oh these. . .

Jason Bradford  51:56
What are the inactive ingredients? Is this Tylenol pill? What's going on?

Rob Dietz  52:05
No, the Jimmy Dean blueberry pancake and sausage is a hallucinogen, first of all.

Asher Miller  52:10
Exactly. 

Jason Bradford  52:11
Okay. 

Asher Miller  52:12
Well, you know, gives you diabetes. 

Jason Bradford  52:14
Active ingredients, hah. 

Asher Miller  52:15
Alright. So, bear with me. Okay, let's talk about what's in the artificial blueberry flavor pancake batter. Artificial. 

Jason Bradford  52:22
Real ingredients. 

Asher Miller  52:23
They just said natural, but okay. Alright, so here's what's in it: Enriched flour, which is wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine, mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid. People in the future be like, what is any of this stuff? It's got water in it, sugar, artificial, blueberry flavored nuggets. If you want to know what's in those nuggets, that's dextrose, sugar, corn flour, palm oil, your favorite, Jason, fruit and vegetable juice, just for color, and salt. 

Rob Dietz  52:52
And to get the vegetables in your diet. 

Jason Bradford  52:54
Homeopathic vegetables.

Asher Miller  52:56
Now the blueberry pancake, this artificial blueberry pancake batter also contains 2% or less of the following: Soybean oil, artificial flavor, dextrose, salt leavening, which is sodium acid, pyrophytes, phosphate, sodium bicarbonate, dried egg yolks, soy lecithin, non fat, dry milk cooked in vegetable oil, fully - Oh, and then here's the next part, okay? The pork and chicken sausage part. 

Jason Bradford  53:25
Fully cooked pork and chicken sausage. 

Asher Miller  53:28
Here what's in that: We've got pork. 

Asher Miller  53:28
Yep. 

Asher Miller  53:28
We've got mechanically separated chicken. 

Jason Bradford  53:30
Oh my gosh. 

Asher Miller  53:31
That's a pretty --

Jason Bradford  53:32
Don't look. 

Asher Miller  53:33
That's a pretty alarming statement.

Rob Dietz  53:35
What does that even mean? 

Jason Bradford  53:38
Look away, look away. 

Rob Dietz  53:40
Like pulled apart and reconstituted. 

Asher Miller  53:44
I guess so. Mechanically separated.

Jason Bradford  53:47
It's okay. It's okay. 

Asher Miller  53:50
I don't know why they had to write that in. Apparently they had to disclose that. 

Asher Miller  53:51
So pork, mechanically separated chicken, water, sugar, salt, and then it contains 2% or less of the following: oat fiber, sodium phosphate, spices, natural and artificial maple flavor with maltodextrin, modified food starch, caramel color, dextrose of maple syrup. It's got dextrose monosodium glutamate, potassium lactate, and sodium diacetate. So just imagine in the future people looking at this list of ingredients, seeing that they you shove this on a stick, and you freeze it and then microwave it and that's what you eat. 

Jason Bradford  53:51
It's fine. 

Jason Bradford  54:20
Can you tell - So how do we display this? What is -

Asher Miller  54:23
I think you've gotta get a desiccated one, you know, or somehow, maybe you put it - 

Jason Bradford  54:28
Embalm it. 

Asher Miller  54:29
You embalm it, right? 

Jason Bradford  54:30
Okay, it's embalmed. 

Asher Miller  54:31
Stick it on a plate. Then you can have your freezer and your microwave there so that people understand the virtual cycle there.

Jason Bradford  54:41
In a kitchen. You put it in a modern, like a sorry at this point, put it in an old timey kitchen from 2025. And so, you've got all the accouterments of a kitchen which will just blow them away. 

Asher Miller  54:52
But I do want the focus on what is in this meal. Maybe that's the only thing that's in the kitchen that's food. Just so they understand.

Rob Dietz  55:02
I have two ideas to add to your exhibit. One is after people have walked through the exhibit and they've gone to the gift shop to get the fake dog poop, then they go to the museum cafe and they actually eat one of these.

Rob Dietz  55:15
Yes!

Asher Miller  55:15
We won't have them, dude. 

Jason Bradford  55:16
We'll have to make it out of like, acorn and sorghum flowers and like, don't ask us, what squirrel is in the meat.

Asher Miller  55:24
It'll be like six ingredients, which would be quite, quite complicated.

Jason Bradford  55:27
Coon, alligator . . . 

Rob Dietz  55:29
Possum tail, less than 2% of bat wing.

Asher Miller  55:33
Less than 2% of possum nail.

Jason Bradford  55:35
No, but I think this is genius, because this becomes, then a window into the food system, is what I want. I was upset that I didn't actually have an example. So this is going to satisfy me as a curator. Now, here's what I think we do now. We have windows in the kitchen. There's a kitchen, kind of like a sitcom kitchen where you're like looking at the front, but you can sort of see that there's a window on the left, a window in the center, and a window on the right. And you can walk up to each window, and out of each window is a different view, and it's different views of the food system. So one is a view of - 

Asher Miller  56:09
 So where's the sausage come from? 

Jason Bradford  56:10
Exactly. So you have like a cornfield, then you have maybe a CAFO, like a pork CAFO, and then you have like a food manufacturing plant in New Jersey.

Rob Dietz  56:23
Artificial flavors that roll down the highway on trucks.

Asher Miller  56:26
We need to show somewhere the chemists working for Jimmy Dean, like concocting these artificial flavors. Yeah. Good idea.

Jason Bradford  56:33
Yeah. I think this will cover it. 

Rob Dietz  56:35
So I also want the exhibit to have another thing. And you know how museums are, they're kind of subjective, right? They put their spin on here's what we think the past was. 

Jason Bradford  56:45
Yes. 

Rob Dietz  56:45
And at that point, I think it'd be cool if we had some kind of sign that explained, you know, here's the Jimmy Dean blueberry pancake sausage on a stick -- All meals in 2025 were eaten on sticks.

Jason Bradford  56:59
Just like we got something wrong -- The idea that the curators messed up.

Asher Miller  57:04
No just overtime myths become what people think are real.

Rob Dietz  57:08
A museum goer comes in and they're like, "Oh, they used to eat everything on a stick." You're holding like three things in each hand on a stick. 

Jason Bradford  57:15
I mean, burritos on a stick are genius, right? Because who would want to hold a burrito.

Asher Miller  57:19
My Starbucks frappuccino on a stick. 

Jason Bradford  57:21
Yes, that's genius. 

Asher Miller  57:24
That's a great idea. Okay, so we've laid out some ideas for what goes in the museum. What did you guys leave, you know, on the, you know, your fourth or fifth option. Let's not run through them in detail, but just, you know, what else have you come up with?

Rob Dietz  57:42
Well, for me, beyond my fake dog poo, I had a very simple exhibit which goes against my other ones, right? This is the opposite of the Icon of the Seas. I just wanted either one lowly cigarette, or maybe even up to a pack of cigarettes. 

Jason Bradford  57:57
Sure. 

Rob Dietz  57:58
There's all this problem with smoking that we know about, you have the Merchants of Doubt stuff, where the scientists and the lobbyists kind of came in and said, no, this is healthy.

Jason Bradford  58:08
You could tell that story to our descendants about like, this is just one example of how we just couldn't act on information. 

Rob Dietz  58:16
Yeah, but those descendants, even if everyone quit smoking, they'd still be suffering the consequences of all the micro plastic from the filters in these cigarettes.

Jason Bradford  58:25
Oh gosh. They make the filters out of . . . I thought the filters were out of like cotton or something.

Rob Dietz  58:29
No, it's, you know, people smoke 6 trillion cigarettes worldwide each year. 4.5 trillion of those become litter. So that's 660 million pounds of microfiber, plastic microfiber, in the water body. 

Jason Bradford  58:43
Okay, shut up. Okay, my turn.

Asher Miller  58:46
That's dark. That's a dark - That's the dark hall of the museum.

Rob Dietz  58:51
Trillions. 

Jason Bradford  58:51
We'll put that in the basement. Okay, that's going to be in - what is it? Below deck. Way below deck. 

Asher Miller  58:57
Exactly. 

Jason Bradford  58:57
Okay. 

Rob Dietz  58:58
We'll just throw them overboard. Straight to the ocean. 

Asher Miller  59:01
In the bilge. 

Jason Bradford  59:01
In the bilge. Alright well I skipped the travel industry because I felt like you kind of had covered that with your Haute living. 

Rob Dietz  59:10
Haute living, yes. 

Jason Bradford  59:12
You know, and I had two. I had a luxury travel agent. You can actually, if you're like a gazillionaire and you want to pay someone $100,000 to design a trip for your family to do whatever, you know. Shoot things in Africa, or you know, or like, take a tour of soccer stadiums in Europe and go to the Eiffel Tower. They'll do this for you. This one woman had bespoke on her website. So she was very - 

Asher Miller  59:36
You hated her right away. 

Rob Dietz  59:38
That is your favorite word is bespoke. 

Jason Bradford  59:40
Yes. The other on the other extreme end was I went to Expedia, and I was able to book a package for two to Branson, Missouri, flying out of Eugene from August 1st to 5th for under $800. 

Rob Dietz  59:52
Nice. What's the hell is Branson. 

Jason Bradford  59:56
Branson, Missouri is like this city of 11,000 in the southern Ozarks, pretty close to Arkansas, and it's an entertainment Mecca. 7 million people go to Branson each year to do things like watch variety shows where people do tribute bands and magic shows and these sort of things. So it's like the other end of luxury travel. It's sort of like Midwesterners going to listen to old timey country.

Asher Miller  1:00:23
So it would be kind of explaining that even people that were not living relatively high on the hog - 

Rob Dietz  1:00:30
People that couldn't get on the Icon of the Seas would go to Branson, Missouri. 

Asher Miller  1:00:34
Exactly. 

Jason Bradford  1:00:35
Might be the same crowd. 

Asher Miller  1:00:36
That's good.. Well, I was thinking about, and I know how much you love dioramas. I was thinking about actually having just a large replica of one of the most famous malls in the world. 

Asher Miller  1:00:48
'Merica. Mall of America. 

Asher Miller  1:00:51
Mall of America.

Asher Miller  1:00:52
Didn't they name that Mall of Mexico, or . . . 

Asher Miller  1:00:55
No, no, no. Other way around. Although, a little factoid for you - The Mall of America, which is in Minnesota, and I had all these interesting stats about it. 

Jason Bradford  1:01:06
You can't say it. 

Asher Miller  1:01:07
I won't say. I will share that it was built by a Canadian family who made their money first by importing Persian rugs but then really made their money on oil.

Jason Bradford  1:01:20
Oh my gosh. Yes. Because it's in Alberta. It's like near Alberta or something like that, the Mall of America.

Rob Dietz  1:01:25
Everything s a petro state.

Jason Bradford  1:01:27
Yeah.

Asher Miller  1:01:27
Yeah. Okay, so hopefully our listeners enjoy this little tour this, you know, you had to close your eyes and sort of imagine it, but we will put up photos of some of the things we talked about. Hopefully you guys enjoyed that, but we'd love to hear from you. What did we miss? What else should go into the Crazy Town museum of the future? So send us an email, post a comment, you know, on your favorite podcast app, let us know. 

Jason Bradford  1:01:52
Wasn't this the best show ever. 

Rob Dietz  1:01:54
Well maybe so, but I'm really worried. I don't know how we're gonna get enough money to buy the Icon of the Seas, but if people step up we could do it. If they don't and we only managed to raise 680 bucks, then I'm buying you that backpack blower, Asher.

Asher Miller  1:02:10
I'll just point it in my head and call it a day. 

Jason Bradford  1:02:14
Yes, over.

Melody Allison  1:02:18
That's our show. Thanks for listening. If you like what you heard, and you want others to consider these issues, then please share Crazy Town with your friends. Hit that share button in your podcast app, or just tell them face to face. Maybe you can start some much needed conversations and do some things together to get us out of Crazy Town. Thanks again for listening and sharing.